Daniel’s father called from school. Your child is discovered giving prescription pills to other students. Dad immediately seeks his bottle of pills and realized that Daniel has been taking some prescription pills that the doctor prescribed after a recent surgery.
DAD: Daniel, I need to talk to you about something very serious. I called the director of your school and told me what happened.
DANIEL: Ah …
DAD: I am very disappointed and worried. Have you been taking my pills!?
DANIEL: Dad, those pills are no big deal. They only help one to relax. We’re only having fun.
DAD: How they are no big deal? Why young people are using them? You’ve been carrying them to school?
DANIEL: They are for fun. School is very boring, and there is nothing to do. Some guys use the pills after school or on weekends, but it’s not as if they were using cocaine or something!
DAD: Daniel those pills are a very serious thing, so these are for someone with a prescription. They can be dangerous, especially for young people. You could affect your body and your brain so that you can overdose. Those pills are highly addictive! What if something had happened to any of the boys you gave some pills?
DANIEL: Nothing happened. The boys at school use these pills all the time.
DAD: That does not mean they are not dangerous. I want you to tell me how many have taken, and tell me the truth.
DANIEL: I’ve only used them few times. I saw them there in the bathroom. I was stressed and needed to relax. It’s not like I was addicted or something.
DAD: Well, I want to make sure that’s not a problem. I made an appointment with a counselor to talk to you.
DANIEL: What!? Dad, you’re overreacting!
DAD: No, you did not think, and I want to assure myself that everything is fine, the appointment is tomorrow. I want you to know that using drugs is not allowed in this family, and that includes prescription medicine that is not yours!
DANIEL: Dad, I can not believe you think I’m a drug addict because I took some few of those pills!
DAD: Daniel, I do not think so. I just want to make sure we do not have a more serious problem. I am concerned that you took those sideburns and also because the other boys gave. You made a very bad decision. You broke the law, and that can affect you in the future. You’re lucky that the principal did not call the police.
DANIEL: I think you’re exaggerating this completely.
DAD: No, I’m not exaggerating. I love you very much, and I’m worried about you. From now on you are punished for the rest of the month, and we’ll talk more after your appointment tomorrow.
WHAT EXPERTS SAY
Tips for Parents – What to do and when
What should you do if you suspect your child is experimenting with drugs?
First of all learn as much as you can. For advice by email for parents, subscribe to http://www.drugfree.org/. This website also has much useful for parents on prevention and drug abuse information. Talk to your child and let them know that you know what’s going on. You can also visit http://www.samhsa.gov/ to learn more about substance abuse.
The next step, you should take, is to talk with your child. Be sure to have this conversation when you are calm and have enough time. This conversation will not be easy; emotions can move from anger to guilt because you feel that your child’s fault, and now is using drugs. This is not true, if you stay involved, you can help your child stop drugs and make decisions that will be positive for the future.
Discuss your concerns clearly
Tell your child what you have seen and how it makes you feel. Specifically mentioned the things that you have noticed and that worry you. Let them know that you have found drugs or drug-related materials. Explain that you to notice a difference in appearance (such as irritated eyes or a change of clothes) and because these things concern you. Tell your child that alcohol and drugs are dangerous, and it is your responsibility as a parent to protect from things that can cause harm.
Try to remain calm and maintain a good relationship with your child And have a conversation without anger or without accusing your child of being silly, bad, or an embarrassment to the family. Keep a firm but loving tone, and do not let the conversation becomes a fight. Privacy is very important to young people, but try to find out what is happening in the life of his son. Try the conversation does not become an accusation. Try to maintain a good relationship with your child and find out why he is making bad decisions. Find out if other friends or other people offered drugs at a party or school. Does your child proved drugs out of curiosity, or use marijuana or alcohol for some other reason? This kind of talk will let your child know that you care and that you will exercise your rights as a parent.
Here are some tips on some things you can say to your child:
- What you WANT, and that you are concerned that he may be using drugs.
- You UNDERSTAND that drugs can be a thing that all young people want to try, but can have serious consequences.
- That you care when your child is using drugs.
- That you are there to LISTEN
- Say what you will do to HELP
You know you’re going to talk about this issue many times. Talking about alcohol and drugs is an ongoing conversation.
Prepare and practice what you will say
Prepare for your child is using drugs deny that. Do not expect your child to admit they have a problem. Perhaps your child is angry and tries to change the subject. You can have your child confronts what you did when you were young. If your child asks you this question be honest and try to connect their use of alcohol and drugs to negative consequences. If you replied in a dishonest way, you might lose credibility with your child if he later learned the truth. If you are not comfortable answering this question, you can tell him stories about specific people who have tended negative consequences of using alcohol or drugs. If the time comes that you can not avoid this issue, you can answer honestly and briefly this:
“When I was young, I use drugs because that’s what my friends were doing, and I wanted to please them. If I had known as the drug would affect my life in a negative way, never would have touched. I will do everything possible so that you never touch them.
“I drink alcohol and smoked marijuana because he was bored and wanted to try these things. But soon I realized I was out of control, and he was losing the confidence of my friends and my parents. There is much more positive to pass the time when you’re bored forms.
Talk to other parents or friends
Everyone needs help at some point in our lives. Sometimes even have to have important conversations with other parents about their children who are abusing substances. This can be a difficult conversation because we all have a tendency to want to keep private the problems of our family. But when we do this, we lose the opportunity to have a friend help us think more clearly and give us good advice. You may already have a trusted friend, and no penalty will ask for help from this friend when needed.
Tips on how to start this conversion with another parent:
I realized that my child was using drugs and alcohol, and I’m facing this problem with. I suspect that your child also using alcohol and drugs. I am telling you this because I’d like you to tell me if you knew something about my son.
I think our kids are using alcohol and drugs, and I’m worried. I suspect this for the following reasons. What do you think we should do to help our children?
It is very difficult for me to talk about this, and I ask you to listen. I’m worried because I think our kids are using drugs. I wanted to talk about this to see what we can do.
I suspect my child is using alcohol and drugs but have not found anything to confirm this feeling. Have you ever had this experience with your son?
Do you know any place or resource where I can take my child to help him? I discovered that my child is using drugs and alcohol and do not know what to do. Have you ever had this experience?